The greatest things we do in life are the things we can’t do alone. Realized hopes and dreams come at a cost, but the best of dreams are well worth the cost. See, the best dreams aren’t about fortune, fame, or accomplishment; they’re about eternity. They are lasting changes that impact the world so deeply that they follow a person right into forever. Real substance isn’t something you can touch; it’s something you experience. That is what family is about: substance that lasts into eternity.
Writing a simple story about how we came to the decision to adopt is simply undoable. There is no simple or short version. God began writing this story before we were born, and there’s nothing simple or short about that. He plants seeds before we even realize the ground has been broken.
Adoption isn’t just adding a child; it’s a crucial part of a family portrait that will never fade. To get straight to the heart of it all, we believe our daughter is and has been marked for our family since before she was born. We also believe we were marked for her before we were made.
Motherhood was always part of my blueprint. There was never a question in my life about whether I would be a mother, it was more of a when. It wasn’t that I dreamt only of having a daughter, or a son; I dreamed of having a family! I wanted them all. Sons, daughters, whomever God would grant to me.
Likewise, my husband grew up longing for fatherhood. As it took him a little longer than he expected to find the right mate—me!—he considered adopting on his own. The desire to be a father was just so woven into his person that he couldn’t imagine life without children in his future.
When we married eleven years ago, we were thrilled to look ahead and build our family. A military deployment made us wait. When it was over, pregnancy number one was quick to follow. Glowing with anticipation, we jumped with joy at the news that our time was here! We would be parents! And then, we weren’t. We were devastated at the loss of our first pregnancy—twins. We mourned them deeply as we clung to God’s goodness.
Time passed and we were blessed with an incredible and perfect little boy. He filled every crack and crevice of sadness with the exuberance of the Lord’s love manifested in a person. Surely, this must have been the restoration Job felt when he was given a family after he’d suffered the loss of his earlier family.
Multiple moves, another deployment, and lots of challenges later, we were waiting for our second child to arrive. Another son came barreling into the world with fury as he entered the world four months premature at the onset of the Coronavirus Pandemic. He died. Don’t cry. God quite literally raised him from the dead! He came back to life as the medical staff was calling the time of death and fought every imaginable battle out of the NICU. Our family endured trauma, grief, and isolation. There in that darkness, we met God’s grace!
Now, after the loss of twins, the difficult pregnancy of one child, and the traumatic birth of another, we are no longer able to have more biological children. We never wept a tear over this fact. Probably because we already knew that God had a daughter for us. The deep desire for a daughter was always there. I’m a firm believer that when you desire something so purely from the Creator, the desire is most likely from Him. We knew she was out there and that she was someone we didn’t conceive. She was someone we’d never met, and somehow, we knew her. We felt that beckoning without seeing her face, knowing her name, or speaking her language. We loved her and wanted her and yet, it wasn’t time.
Every step of the way, the idea of adoption has been watered and nurtured through unexpected conversations, visions, and circumstances. Every moment we thought it was time to pick the proverbial fruit from the vine, we’d hear the gentle whisper of the Father, “Not yet.” We’d set the idea aside and give it more time. We’ve recently entered into a new season of our lives. In this season, for the first time, we heard the gentle prompting of excitement, “Now!”
The timing seems crazy now. The process is daunting. The finances are impossible. All of it sets the stage for a perfect tale. It’s a story we could never write, but God’s been writing it for a while now; the story of family. This is only our side of the story. Her side is a story all its own, and yet one that was always meant to tie to ours. We are all a little orphaned in this world. It’s a busted world that left us all a little busted as well. The beauty in this story is that family can be an amazing depiction of God’s love for us. He rescues each and every one of us who asks. In this adoption journey, we simply get the privilege of being a part of it all and mirroring His perfect example of hope, redemption, and unending love.
It’s not about us finding the perfect child. It’s about us being the perfect family! This is the telling of something dynamic. The story of God’s love expressed through people; mothers, fathers, children—His creation—the story of something eternal.
“I will not leave you orphans — I am coming to you.” (John 14:18)
Nightlight has been a Godsend to us as they walk this road with us. We invite our friends and our family, as well as anyone who might feel compelled, to be a part of this journey as well. However God inspires you to invest, we invite you to join in our family, dynamic.