Never once did we ever walk alone. Never once did You leave us on our own. You are faithful, God, You are faithful. (Matt Redman- “Never Once”)
Our relationship began as “love at first sight”. We were college sweethearts and got married the summer after we graduated. We both felt strongly that children would be part of our future. December 28, 2014, came, and we decided it was time to start expanding our family. One month turned into several months and not a single one went by without tears and heartache like I have never experienced. With each month that passed, negative pregnancy tests were all we were left with. After about 9 months, we decided to go back to my doctor to confirm nothing was wrong. Little did we know, this was just the beginning of a series of never ending tests. However, in the beginning we were faced with much confusion because the results showed nothing wrong, and the doctor could only diagnose us with “unexplained infertility”. There came a point in March of 2016, that my normal OBGYN could no longer do anything for us, and we were referred to a fertility specialist. At this time, I was diagnosed with PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome). We were told this was the “best” problem to come to them with, and could easily be fixed. After about a month of baseline monitoring and several more tests, we were ready to begin the next phase in this process. This phase included more medicines, time-specific nightly injections-that I gave myself-, and ultrasounds/blood work several times in a week’s span. At this point, the side effects from the medications were trivial compared to my expectations of a hopefully favorable outcome. Through all this, God has shown himself faithful. We believed if God could speak the world into being there was no doubt in our mind that he could give us a child. My greatest fear was how long I would continue to hear the answer I dreaded: wait. Recently, God has been working in our hearts, and we both feel God calling us to pursue adoption! I can now say and believe without any hesitation to “count it ALL joy when you meet trials of various kinds.” (James 1:2) I am grateful for the path God has chosen for us. Even through the darkest part of my life, God used it to point me to Himself. If you had asked me 564 -and counting- days ago, I would have had a completely different response. Until now, my selfish heart couldn’t see past my desire to have children biologically and stubbornly refused any other way. How wrong I was; biological or not makes no difference. This child will be OUR child--handpicked from God. What a special gift! Through this journey, God has grown us individually in a special way, but also together. We have shed many tears of sorrow, but lately, so many more tears of JOY. What a beautiful picture of the gospel! He chose me, Leeann, to be a daughter of His. He chose Zach to be a son of His. He chose us when we could do nothing to contribute. One day, we will be able to speak to our child the very words spoken by Jesus to His disciples in John 14:18: “I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.” God adopted us as His own, and we will be able to demonstrate in a very real, personal, and tangible way the transformative power of the gospel in action. We both feel as though our hearts could explode with happiness and anticipation, and oh, the stories we could tell of countless ways God has shown His faithfulness. However, we will simply end by asking you for the one thing we will so desperately need during this journey: PRAYER! Pray for patience as we continue to hear that word: wait! We also ask that you begin praying for our birthmother. While we do not know who she is, God has known her and prepared her for this moment in His sovereignty. She is the one who will be carrying our child, and we would ask you pray for her as she chooses life for our baby.
Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy! (Psalm 126:5)
Love, Zach and Leeann
Wanting to be the first to help finance the joy of adoption <3