Waiting for Baby Mallek
Adam and Arlene
Lake Oswego, Oregon
Honestly, we never thought we’d be pursuing adoption when we exchanged vows almost 7 years ago. Like most newlyweds, we thought children would come right on schedule…
Infertility Struggles
Then infertility hit us… We had an early miscarriage our first month trying and could not conceive month after month. After realizing something was not quite right, we tried various fertility treatments with several different doctors at a high cost to our bank account and emotions. Each time the pregnancy test was negative. Doctors could not identify the reason why. After attempting all the fertility treatments that we felt peace about, we elected to pursue embryo adoption/donor embryo. This refers to receiving donated embryos (frozen 5-day old fetuses) remaining from another couple’s IVF (In-Vitro Fertilization) treatment. It seemed like an amazing answer to prayer: God providing us with three frozen embryos from another couple that almost precisely resembled us ethnically and physically (i.e. the child might even look like us!). However, God had different plans than we had hoped and as none our adopted embryos took hold in her uterus and the pregnancy tests were negative once more.
Infant Adoption Journey Begins!
The last of the three embryos was unsuccessfully transferred to Arlene just one week before we moved to Oregon from Pennsylvania. It was a most difficult time for us with the transition to a new city, new jobs, and a new church, while we were far away from our friends and families. We felt quite alone in our grief and pain at that time. Fortunately, our new church soon embraced us with open arms and also connected us with a Christian counselor who helped us properly grieve our loss and discern what steps we should take next. Traditional infant adoption became increasingly attractive option for us as we did research and reading on the subject. During our study, it was eye-opening to see more clearly how adoption reflects the way God took the initiative in choosing to set his love on us in adopting us as His own children. Redeeming us from our slavery to sin, He has made us sons and daughters, and the objects of His affection (Romans 8:15). In a similar (though very imperfect) way, we hope to reflect this adopting, initiative-taking love to the child that He give us.
How you can help?
First, we covet your prayers because we need much wisdom, strength, and patience as we start this most-challenging process with a roller-coaster of emotions awaiting us. Rarely all goes accordingly to plan in a typical adoption and stress-filled surprises are almost certainly awaiting us!
Secondly, the type of adoption agency we chose utilizes social media to help connect us with expectant birth moms. In the coming year, we will likely need your help to share our future Facebook adoption page with your network to help us find our baby.
Lastly, although we hope to save and pay for the majority of our adoption costs ourselves, we do need some financial assistance to make our adoption dream come true. After paying many thousands of dollars in fertility treatment the past couple years, our savings is not sufficient to cover all the costs of adoption. Consequently, this page was setup to faciliate tax-deductible donations.
Thank you for your prayers and support!
Grateful for you,
Adam & Arlene
1 Family Update
Donors
Brian Donohoe
We are so excited to be part of this, and we know that you both will raise this child to be a devoted follower of Jesus! Thank you for your hearts!
Richard and Trudy Capoccioni
We are thrilled to be able to be a part of this. Now I am excited to hear about the baby God has planned for you, I can't imagine how much you must be anticipating this child. As you wait, watch for God Hand. His Plan and timing are perfect. You will make wonderful parents, raising this child to know and love the Lord. Our prayers are with you, this baby and guidance and love for the woman who will birth this child.
Martha Weiman
Rejoicing with you that God has brought you this far on your journey to becoming parents. He is a God of preparation, building His love in your hearts for the daughter He has chosen for you. He has known the three of you before He laid the foundation of the world. No good thing will He with hold from those who walk uprightly.
Gregory Travassos
Espy and I are excited for you and what a joy to participate with you two in this journey! We know God will bless you, in and through this. Thank you for letting us join with you all.
Darrel Schneider
Faith and I are so encouraged by the work God is doing in both of you. It is a wonderful thing to see you will to pass on the love of God you have experienced in Jesus to a child that you will choose to make a part of your family. We and all your brothers and sisters in Christ at Sellwood Church are praying for you and will be supporting you both during the adoption and afterwards.
Trudy Capoccioni
We wanted to pass along an extra blessing we received.
Chad Best
Thanks for sharing your journey with us. We will be praying for this exciting chapter in your lives.
Jacob Nelson
We are praying for you!
Lori Schneider
Adam and Arlene - I hope you know that we love you and that you are in our prayers! We know the Lord will be working in your lives in ways you would never have expected! Adoption is an amazing journey!! Kevin and Lori
Jerry and Beth Inman
Praying and hoping for you both and for the baby that God appoints for you. We have seen an open adoption in our family and it is a wonderful thing.
Jeff & Chelsi Lacine
We are so excited about how God is at work in and through the Mallek family. What a gift it is to be able to share in your journey in this way!
John Kleinschmidt
Adam and Arlene, we pray that God is at work even now preparing a child for you to adopt. Love, John, Wendy, Katelyn, Judah, and Colton
Tim and Karen Oakley
Cheering from the sidelines as you run this long and difficult race.
Gregory Travassos
Beth Inman
I am so sorry for all you have been through and understand on a much smaller scale how infertility feels. I am praying for you! It's a privilege to contribute a small bit to this good cause for Christ.
Pearce and Heather B
Praying for God’s perfect timing as you patiently wait for him to grow your lovely family. All our love!
Update 12/16/18 - Where are we at in the process? What does the process look like? Common questions we receive.
We are still on the wait list with our agency (Quiver Full Adoptions - http://www.quiverfulladoptions.com) and we have been told to expect at least 4-5 more months on the waitlist until we are "active" with the agency. Once active, the agency will actively promote the profile they will help us create to expectant birthmoms. We were told by our agency to start the home study in February-March. Home studies are done to educate/prepare us for adoption and evaluate our fitness to be parents. On average, the agency locates a birthmom that would choose us within about 5-6 months once we are active. Please pray that this would be case for us and next Christmas we would have the gift of a son or daughter to welcome home 🙂
What are we doing now?
We just had professional photos done of us by a photographer in our church who graciously offered her services as a gift to us (Huge Blesssing!!). Also, we are studying about adoption, particularly "open adoption" as we prepare ourselves to have the right expectations going forward with our agency. Open adoption means that the birthmom would have ongoing communication with the adopted child and adoptive parents at some level. In contrast, the anonymous nature of closed option prevents children from knowing who their biological parents are and having any sort of relationship with them. Open adoption is deemed by most experts, Christian or not, to be in the best interest of everyone involved. At some other point, I'll try to describe open adoption in more detail.