Team Pruden

Bear with me on this post. I have trouble putting these feelings into words well and the last thing that I’m wanting to do is offend someone.
Ever since we chose domestic adoption and were told that there wasn’t really a “closed adoption” anymore, I was skeptical. Only because I had heard horror stories of the birth parent coming later in life to parent or movies where the child grows up and yells “you’re not my real family!” and goes in search of their “real family.” I prayed a lot about having peace about this in the beginning stages.

After a while, God started working in my heart toward my future child’s birth mom. I started feeling love toward her even though we hadn’t met and I didn’t even know who she was. See, I felt like there were different feelings and emotions in different types of adoptions. International adoption is, most of the time, adopting an orphan in the true definition. A child who has no potential for a traditional family (I know that the workers and other kids sometimes become their family). This type of adoption is commendable and necessary.

Another kind is when a couple cannot have biological children. NO, I’m not saying that it is less commendable because the couple wants children. It is a blessing for everyone involved (parents, baby, birth parents)!

Then there is what we are feeling. We aren’t adopting a child who has been left at an orphanage in a third world country. We obviously can have biological children, so we aren’t adopting solely to expand our family (NOT saying that that is the only reason parents who can’t have biological children adopt)...

So what is this whole “being matched with an expectant mom and then adopting her child” thing? Exactly what we think our birthmom thought when we met her. She said “so you CAN have your own kids?” “Yes, we can.” She didn’t ask then why we were doing this, but it seemed implied. So here’s where we feel like another kind of adoption comes in. Are we wanting to give a child a loving family and home? Of course. Are we beyond excited about another child in our family? Of course. Are we pumped about loving another child with all that we have? Of course. But really it has developed so much into us wanting to minister and serve our birthmom. We want her to know that what she’s wanting for her child that she doesn’t feel like she can provide is something that we are more than willing- BEYOND grateful- to provide. We are thankful times a million that she has chosen to give her child life even when it might have been “easier” for her to not.
“Wouldn’t we see more women willing to give their children life if they’d seen with their own eyes what an adoption culture looks like?”
-Russell Moore

We pray that through our sacrifice (physically, emotionally, mentally, financially) out of love, she will feel God’s love. We pray that through seeing our love for her and her child, that she will seek out the source of that love and eventually tell others the story of that love. We also pray that being a part of the adopting culture will show women that there are people willing to adopt, and thus choosing to give their children life!