What dreams are made of!

I want to be very transparent about my story and adoption journey. It is a rather sad story, but my hope is that it will have a hopeful and joyful ending and come with an incredible testimony of God's goodness! 

I have dreamed of being a mother all my life. When I was a little girl, I would make these long lists of everything my baby's nursery would need, and I was absolutely fascinated by the idea of being pregnant. Sadly, having my own biological children would never become a reality. Only God knows why. I met my first husband when I was 24 years old. I met him in the church. My dad, bless his heart, introduced us. He sang in the choir, served in the children's ministry, and also served in the youth ministry. We had a whirlwind romance and quickly got engaged, but he had a very, very bad temper. I called off our engagement, but then he cleaned up his act pretty quickly and we went ahead and got married. However, as soon as the honeymoon was over, it started all over again. Our entire relationship lasted no more than 14 months. I was so devastated over the death of my marriage that it took me 11 years to open my heart again. Unfortunately, still dealing with trauma, I swung like a pendulum and chose another man from the church who was on the opposite end of the emotional spectrum. He was attractive because he was very steady, calm, never got angry, and the reason for that was my marriage counselor believed him to be on the autism spectrum; Asperger's possibly. He was never diagnosed, but had all the signs. Being a registered nurse I felt like I could work with it because he was and is still a good man. I think I did fairly well working around the difficulties with communicating and intimacy, but what I did not see coming was him rejecting the most important parts of myself. He rejected my relationship with the Lord. He did not want to share in studying the Bible or praying together because he did not believe that God was dynamically involved in our day-to-day lives. He also had told me that we could have two children, but we were barely married before he changed his mind. I drowned in sorrow for eight years before I had to walk away for my own well-being. But I still love him very very much to this day.

So in 2023 began my fostering journey with the hopes of being able to adopt two children. I got my first placement last summer and she's been in my care for almost 9 months. It is my intention to request the court allow me to adopt her. So we will see how it goes. I am hoping the Lord will let me be her permanent momma. But if not, I plan to continue taking placements. I hope the Lord sees fit to allow me to adopt and provide a child or children with a stable, loving, peaceful, and joyful home.