W E A R E M A T C H – R E A D Y!!!
I thought that announcement would come so much sooner than it did, but we are finally here! All our paperwork is approved. Our Home Study is complete (again). We sent off all our profile books to various Nightlight Christian Adoption offices around the U.S. And we have been overwhelmingly blessed in the last 6 months financially. Now, we are waiting for the phone call.

What does Match-Ready mean?
In an open adoption, the role of choosing is reversed. We don’t pick the child. The birthparent(s) picks us. Once all the paperwork and finances are in order, the adoption offices get the green light to start showing our profile to expectant birthmothers. Social workers do their best to put forward profiles that match the birthmother’s wishes and the adoptive parents’ preferences. Sometimes there is an in-person meeting so we can learn more about each other. Sometimes matches that initially looked good fall through. This is often the longest, hardest, and most emotionally tumultuous part of the process.

The Long Back-story to Getting Here
This process is longer than I could have ever imagined. We had talked about adoption when our daughter was born, and started the process officially in May of 2018. Being a teacher, I thought I could handle the paperwork and we would soon be ready and waiting. The process would end up taking an agonizingly slow year to complete. When our Home Study was finally completed in May of 2019, I was exhausted and dejected. ("Are basic things like uploading documents supposed to be this difficult? I understand that you ‘updated’ the form, but do I really have to do the whole thing all over again?") And none of our attempts at fundraising seemed to be working out.

When the new school year came in the Fall (2019), I tried to embrace the hustle again. I had new and clever fundraising ideas galore and was eager to push them to fruition. They fell flat. Again. Unexpected medical bills kept coming, even though we are considered very healthy individuals. We kept trudging through the days with twinging hopes that maybe one of the grants that we had applied for would come through. On top of everything, last year was one of the hardest years of teaching I have had – 4 preps – and I couldn’t breathe. The mental hypoxia continued until Christmas Break. I didn’t have any new insights, epiphanies, or profound wisdom, but I felt like I woke up and could at least take full breaths instead of gasps.

And then in January (2020) I started praying. Really, I started begging. We had gotten very little financial support to that point and didn’t have any extra in our bank accounts. Nothing seemed to be working. God, if You don’t do something soon, we are going to have to quit. I sent out a round of support letters to close friends and family, praying over them before I popped them in the mailbox. I was asking for $10 from each one of them. A set of back-to-back sermons prompted me to start praying bigger. It was absurd: I asked God for $100 per day to be donated. I prayed, pleaded, and cried many mornings in the shower and on the way to work in the mornings. And we were flooded in grace. By the end of January, we had received a little over $4,000 in grants and gifts. By the end of May we had received an additional $6,500. I have difficulty pinning down any instances in which I have received such a full ‘yes’ in response to a ridiculously specific and brash prayer.

What is the next step?
There are two main phases ahead of us: At-Match (when we are selected by a birthmother) and Placement (when the child is born and placed with us). Each of these phases require a separate $7,000 fee. (There are other small fees after placement, legal fees, etc., but these are the main hurdles). We will continue to be setting aside savings each month to help prepare for these costs, we have more grants on our to-do list, and we might put together a fundraiser for this summer or fall, although COVID-19 has quashed most of our plans and ideas in that arena. Donations/gifts are still beyond welcome and critical as we move closer to these phases.