Dear Expectant Mom,
We can’t imagine what you’re going through right now. While we have never been in your shoes, we come from a place of heartache and trials. Our baby girl, Addalyn Grace, passed away at 2 years old and it completely turned our world upside-down. After her birth we found Jay is a carrier for Trisomy 18 (what Addy was diagnosed with that caused medical complications for her). We tried fertility treatments with a donor and discovered I am going through premature menopause. We knew before Addy died we wanted to adopt and realized all of this was God closing the door on biological kids and leading us back to adoption. I know our struggles aren’t the same, but we want you to know you aren’t alone. God can redeem any story and bring beauty from ashes.
Jay and I met through online dating. I was coaching a marathon team at the time and Jay was active with cycling and running, which is what drew us together. In June of 2013 we were married at our church. We were ready for our happily ever after!
Addalyn was born on March 10, 2015; it was the first time we heard about Trisomy 18. We were told she only had a month to live at the most, so we took our tiny 4 lbs 5 oz baby girl home on hospice, not knowing how much time we would have, but trusting God’s plan and timing. We spent many nights in the hospital with various illnesses and surgeries; we learned more medical terminology than we could’ve ever imagined. We were not only her parents, but also her nurse, advocate, and therapist. We had to fight for care until we found doctors who saw the value in her life and were willing to help her thrive. Thrive she did; doctors were always amazed at her progress. While our journey with Addy wasn’t easy, she brought us so much joy! She loved laughing and interacting with others and was making huge progress in her development. We were beginning to believe she would live a long life. At 26 months old we went in for her fifth surgery (she’d always been a rock star with recovery), but two days later she developed unexpected heart and lung complications, and despite her doctors’ efforts to keep her here with us she passed away in my arms on May 21, 2017. Not only did that night change our lives forever, it changed the lives of our entire family. Her cousins love her like a sibling and continue to grieve and miss her, as well as her aunts, uncles, and grandparents. She taught us so much about unconditional love and to treasure every moment.
We live in North Texas minutes from the Cowboy’s stadium, Ranger’s ballpark, and Six Flags. While we have large attractions nearby, our neighborhood is quiet. Our neighbors are great; they’re always friendly and a few of them have young children. Jay has never met a stranger, so we knew most of them within the first few weeks of moving in. We still enjoy running and being active; our favorite part of our neighborhood is the park that’s close by with lots of shaded trails, that we get plenty of use out of. Our church is close by and we continue to find ways to stay involved and serve others. Jay is an electrician and enjoys going on construction mission trips to use his talents. I teach part-time, 3 days a week at a private school, so my mom (Mimi) will care for the baby at our home while we’re at work.
Family is extremely important to us. We see mine most often since they live close by. I have three siblings who each have kids, which means lots of cousins (7th cousin is on his way)! The four oldest were with Addy almost every day the first year of her life and multiple times a week after that; they have an amazing unconditional love and are looking forward to sharing their love with another baby cousin. Everyone in our family is excited to meet the baby that God will bring into our family. With family being so important, we believe you are important too and would like to keep an open relationship with you, sharing pictures and visits, if you choose to let us love your baby and be a part of our family. We also understand if you prefer not to be in contact.
We know whatever you decide, it is out of love and we pray you find peace in your decision.
Jay and Erin
We are represented by Nightlight Christian Adoptions. If you would like more information about us or would like to meet us, please contact Nightlight at (866) 832-3678.